I Googled You

It's weird when someone you have never met, but talk on the phone for conference calls tells you he googled you. Yes, we all do it. Who doesn't, right? We are always curious to know something or want to know someone so we googled that person. But we will never declare that.

So today, I met S - a Korean whom I have been on calls with to talk about a particular project that we have both been roped in. He was so excited when we met, eager to tell me about himself and what his plans are and he was also very bullish with his plans.

I was of course taken aback when he told me he googled and read every single interviews that I have done for the trade.

Me and My Never Ending Maid Stories

No surprise. I am changing my maid again.

The current one is mom's choice and she made mom so angry, mom's BP went up to 166! No kidding.

I came home from a business trip and got a earful of mom's frustrations. Last Sat, we shortlisted one and this Thursday we are interviewing.

Today, the new rule kicks in. I wonder what is real basis for the increase in salary when most of these maids can hardly work. Previously, all they did was to learn for the entry test. I was informed that they spend Mon-Fri learning and memorising English words. On weekends, they are trained to do housework. I don't think that has changed. Experienced maids - there are more risks - and I'd rather avoid getting one experienced one.

I would go without a maid for mom if I could. Mom needs help with the lil one and at home with housework... though mom says otherwise. She also needs the company especially on nights when she is alone at home.

Luck plays an important role and all I can do is pray that my next maid is a good one. It's my fourth change... I'm pretty sure MOM will call me in for that interview!

Finally. He said it.

He finally said it. Yes. Abang told me on Monday to not travel for work.

I had just gotten back from Berlin on Sat evening and had to leave again for Bali on Tuesday. The limited time I had with him on Sunday was spent at the massage parlour because mommy's back was aching so much that she could hardly move. So on Monday as we were driving home and I told him of my trip, he asked why do I have to travel again so soon and said "please don't go". I hate the feeling.

Just before I boarded the plane, he called to say he loved me and asked if I could get him a toy. I don't make a habit of buying toys or gifts for every single trip. I will make an exception this time round. I hope there are some decent shops at the airport.

Super Neat

My job has taken me to many countries and I stay in the best hotels. This week I am in Berlin and we stay in Hotel De Rome. This lavish hotel building was previously a central bank in East Berlin.

My blog is not about the hotel but about the service that I received during my stay. I have never experienced excellent services in Europe and this is my first.

The staff are so friendly, efficient and accommodating. The waiters are attentive and the minute you move away from your table to take more food, etc, someone would come immediately to either remove your plate or fold your napkin. Like lightning - have they been hiding under the table or something?!

I am a very neat person and I like to keep my things in order. You cannot imagine how amused I am when I walked into my room this evening to find my shoes all lined up in order, the toiletries are arranged neatly and everything was in perfect order!! It was so perfect that I had to look for my pair of socks! I found it folded in neatly in the drawer! Oh my gosh, I burst out laughing when I found it!

A Year Older and Wiser :-)

I am 38 years old today.

The plan was to spend the entire day with the kids and hubby but the plan got canned. Last year, we were in Penang chilling out. This year, I was stressing out over a presentation. At 5am, I was going through the deck!

The delegates came in - 13 men Chinese and Korean - all in suits. Very distinguised looking and so much older! My feet and hands were cold - from being nervous and since I had to present right after my boss, that makes it even worst.

I did it and all went well. I've learnt a lot in Day 1 , Day 2 is tomorrow and one of the funny moment from today was:

On Screen - screen grab of an app store selling a game called: iPee: Urinal Game.

Someone said - I think I want to buy this game
Someone responded - it's not for women, it's for men.

keh keh keh.

I have to say that my team had a tough time figuring out when to bring out the b'day surprise for me. I seriously thought the days of celebrating b'days in office is so over but hey, someone decided to organize it anyway. The surprise came at 6 and together with that surprise, i saw two little boys joining the celebration - my kids! Mommy firstly was harrassed because the team was happily singing, with bells and whistle in the b/g, the delegate of 13 men were touring the office and then mommy had to carry her boys! Alamak.

The 10 Things to Remember

This list has been with me for some time now. It's pasted on my cubicle - it has come with me from the office in Atrium - Tower B to Tower A to the short stint in Outram and now to New Tech Park.

A male Malay colleague once saw it on my desk and asked me why do I place such things on my cubicle - the answer is simple - it's a reminder. I work in an environment where I could choose a live a lifestyle that will give me happiness in the world today/ now and may not necessarily be so in the life after. Parties, alcohol, music, rock & roll, liberal lifestyle, dining in the best restaurants in Asia and the world - meeting all sorts of people, decision makers, entertainers, company leaders, you name it. It is so easy to just go with the flow and be "in".

I am thankful I continue to be steadfast in my faith and practices, I continue to have patience as I explain and educate again to my non Muslim colleagues, friends, acquaintances what some of my beliefs are. InsyaAllah, this will continue through.

Own Business vs Corporate World

A girlfriend gave me a business proposal recently. It was not a surprise... she has hinted it so many times before and passed me several articles to read. I am very diligent and have read them all.

While I like the proposal, I am very hesitant to participate for several reasons.

Firstly, I like the corporate world. I cannot imagine running my own business or going into a business with a friend - what more a good friend. I am so scared that if things go wrong, I may end up not having the friendship. I get a lot of satisfcation in the corporate world, the rat race, the competition, the meetings, everything.

Secondly, my girlfriend and I have very strong personalities and I know if we were to work together, we will end up "killing" each other eventually! I don't think two strong personality people should run a business together. You need a business partner to complement your personality. I don't fall into that category.

And finally, how can one live on savings until the business is finally bringing in profit? Seriously. That's too risky.

There are instances when I feel that I have had enough of the media industry and I want to leave.... and if I ever do that, I would consider a career in the preschool sector - not as a techer though.

Business Travels

For business trip, I like to travel on my own. I like being on my own; the time is mine to manage and I don't have to accommodate to any requests.
Alternatively, I prefer to travel with a male colleague - because they tend to leave you when you get to the hotel.

You may be wondering why I'm entering such a post now - since I have been doing this for years already. I am somewhat irritable. Firstly, this is such a last minute trip that I was asked to go and manage, so I am still annoyed with that fact, secondly I have to deal with a colleague who calls me "Jan" and I have corrected the person before. I hate it when people cannot pronounce my name right. Yes, my name may be difficult to pronounce but hey, c'mon. There are 5 of us here in Manila this week. Naturally, we are all at the same hotel and while we have our own meetings to run and go to, we usually meet back at the hotel. And this is when my irritation begins. I need my space, I enjoy the idea of being on my own doing my own thing. So when I want to go for a massage or a spa or a run, I want to be doing that at my own time, by myself. I don't want to wait. I don't want to chat. If it's a company retreat or some bonding session that the company wants us to do, i'll do it, I have seen my colleagues in their worst state - drunk, at the gym looking flushed, naked, butt cracks, you name it, but that does not mean I want them to see me in my robe at the spa or my calves ( i don't wear anything short!).

And right now I want to work as I have a lot to submit in the next few days, I don't want a night cap and I don't want another session of spa.

Goodbye, Nong

Nong, aka Revi (mom calls her Ravi) my domestic helper went home two weeks ago. Her contract with us ended and she is now on a journey to finish her studies. That was her goal, to save as much money as possible so she could pay for her school fees.

I took a new helper for my mom, Tarkunah and mom insists on calling her "Taqwa". Mom had her reasons unfortunately, Taqwa journey with us ended last Friday. Mom said she is too short- you cannot have 2 short ladies in the house can you? and here I was thinking of getting another set of ladder for mom's place! and another reason for sending her back is because mom does not like her face. She hardly smiles and that's a problem. Even my youngest son does not want to play with her!

I've been interviewing and screening so many candidates at the agency, that by the time I selected my final helper, I cannot even remember her name and her background! One candidate's name is Jaya Indah. I told her it sounds like a big gedung in Banjarmasin! I was kidding of coz!

So, the new replacement came last Sunday. Dasti is her name. She reminds me of my childhood friend from Penang. The good news is, she is much taller, slightly gendut, is generous with her smile and most importantly, mom looks happier with Dasti.

Hope the ride ahead is smooth. I don't want to go through the same episode of hiring and listening to mom's woes. It's never easy when a new helper comes on board.

Wheelchair!

We were in Hong Kong for a short holiday.
Adik was asleep in his pram. Abang was tired from walking. He asked Abah to carry him.

Abah: Abang, you are getting very heavy and my back aches when I carry you. When Abah and Mama are older and if we cannot walk, will you carry us?

Abang did not respond immediately. He was thinking and then he said..

Abang: No. I'll put you on a wheel chair and I will push you.

Abah immediately put him down and told him to walk!

2011 - A Roller Coaster Ride

It's hard to believe the year is almost over. As I look back at 2011, I must admit it's a year that is filled with lots of love, challenges and 180 degrees turn!

And all those challenges that I went through is a test of my patience and I must admit some times I am amazed at how much patience I have over some people and matters. I will always remember what my late father said to me and insyaAllah, I will see it through.

I've never felt so tired and often I catch myself asking whether all the stress and pressures are worth it. This week, the answer would be yes- especially when you see the big fat bonus that sits in the bank account! Alhamdullilah.

Working hard is a given but this year, I feel that I have worked extremely hard. I don't think 2012 will be an easy year either but I do know that whatever I went through this year is to prepare me for whatever else that is coming my way.

I will remember a few things that happened this year.

One -I've been told more than once by my boss that I should never worry or be very concerned with what people think of me. If I have to be mean or a bitch to get to where I want, I will have to do just that. I did not agree with that because that's not who I am. Everyone deals with situations differently and I prefer doing it my way. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why certain things stay as it is.

Two - I was asked by a male colleague what's the formula to survive in this company. Dude, pray. But I did not say that. At that moment, I wished I did not know his future and I reminded myself to stay far far away from office politics. It brings one unhappiness.

Three - Have you heard of narcissistic personality disorder? Imagine having to manage a person with one. I'm still managing that and it is a tiring process.

Four - I have also learned to take time to understand my colleague, "OG" better - something that I rarely do to someone who constantly pissed me off at work. I've gone for coffee, lunches and work trips with him and I realize that he is a nice person. As I get to know him more, I begin to understand why he does things the way he does. I've also learnt to draw boundaries and if I'm tasked to do beyond that boundary, I make sure the people who ought to know, knows.

Five - I recently went to a women networking breakfast session. The session looked at how women climbed the career ladders and what one has to do to get to the top. The answers vary - learn to play golf someone said, learn a sport, don't let your gender come in the way.... etc etc. Yes, perhaps all of that is important. However, I came out of the session and felt that it was a complete waste of time. Seriously, there is a reason why God creates men and women. There has to be a balance in how things work. Male bosses are not emotional, straight forward and they make better bosses some say. But women bosses are good at multi tasking and has soft skills and are able to reach out to everyone whether they realize it or not. That to me should be your one of your strengths to get you to the top. In any organizations, you cannot have an all women or all men in the management team. That is a recipe to disaster.

And speaking of climbing the career ladder, I must admit that it is TOUGH to manage 2 kids and career! While I have a very strong support system, I find that I am always planning ahead and my mind is always thinking. Perhaps that's why I feel so tired. I am conscious of what I go through and I know what I have to do to slow down, take a step back and breathe. And yet, I am going against all that. SELFISH. That's how I describe the situation that I am in. I am selfish and I want it all. For how much longer???

Ning No More

I have to thank my mom for making me act on a decision I made about eight to ten weeks ago.

When she called and told me she did not want to see Ning in her house, the very next day I sent Ning back to the agency. The intent of doing so was already there… it’s just that I have been procrastinating. Why I really don’t know.

I’m glad I did because I began to realize recently that situation at home is a lot better. When Ning was around, my hubby and I were really short tempered and were easily annoyed…perhaps because we had to control our anger at Ning and we ended up venting at each other. Also, it feels so peaceful and calm as we step into the house in the evening and when I wake up really early in the morning to do whatever I have to do.

Bliss.

My Fellow Orange Team

These are the people that I hang around with 4-6 times in a year, in various places and countries. And we talk on a weekly basis. The experience between them is vast and varied and each time when I meet them, I feel so rejuvenated.

They’ve motivated and have thought me in many ways in my career and I am truly appreciative of the opportunity.

We are colleagues and some I definitely can call friends. The group used to be so much bigger but with changes in the organizational structure and promotions, this is the current group of programmers for the brand I work for. We make decisions together and agree on decisions. One of the requirements for this role is to be able to convince everyone that the decision to take on a program will bring in desired results to the company. Stressful initially but you learn along the way – the spectrum of things to look at is wide!

This shot was taken when we took the London eye. Other than having to work together, whenever we travel to a foreign city, we make time to explore this city. This was one of the evenings when we explored London city – the tallest guy being our head was also the leader in that small tour group. He is the tallest, how could anyone miss him?!

Our meeting venue changes all the time. As long as there is an office in that particular cluster, we can hold our meeting. I am on a mission to get them to Singapore. It’d be a good experience for everyone – to experience the culture and understand what we go through. On a selfish note, it takes me 2 to 3 days to recuperate from long haul trips! I want them to experience that too :)

Treasured Experience

I have to say that I have been very fortunate to be working with one of the best brands in the world. I meet with people of various cultures, nationalities, backgrounds and there are some who I have called friends. I have seen myself grown over the years, on all levels, personally and professionally. My colleagues are very down to earth and real and that’s what I really and truly thankful for. Without such people around me, working life would have been very miserable.

I do reflect on my life once in a while to make sure that I stay focused on my personal goals. For people who work in this media industry, we are lucky to be walking along the Mediterranean for work, we are lucky to be eating and dining in the best restaurants, served by well known Chefs (not that I am a fan of fine dining but hey!... soak in the moment).

We are lucky to soak in luxury as we do our meeting on luxury yacht. We were on the Galaxy Castletown ( Jayzee and Beyonce once booked the same yacht!) for dinner- We had the privileged to do a boat tour – it’s massive! There is a gym and a Jacuzzi, kitchen, an office, a laundry area, a helipad.. when the owner decides to be on board and 16 crews on board! Talk about the life of the rich and famous!


Most importantly, we continue to be inspired by the creative people from around the world. I met with creators of popular kids shows as they come in to pitch their ideas, how thorough they are in terms of research, in terms of association with the professionals in the kids’ space, how connected they are to technology and creating content to feed all the mutiplatforms that continues to grow till this day.
I’m inspired each time I return from my trip or sessions with my colleagues. I hope that inspiration continues and translates in what I do.

The Talkative Dutch man

I've met many Dutch men and they are mostly very tall and straightforward. I don't recall any of them to be a chatterbox.

Tonight, a handful of us were picked to have dinner with our 2 big bosses. Our seating arrangements were pre-arranged. I had colleagues from Europe around the table and I sat across a Dutch man. I've met him often at MIPs but we never spoke. At most it's just a handshake or a smile.
Tonight, he was seated across me and oh boy! he can talk and talk and talk. It was entertaining, he was funny, forthcoming and noble. At the end of dinner, I felt like I've known him for a LONG time!... I've never met a talkative guy like that... or rather I don't like men who are talkative.

Patrick Alders... you've left an impression.

An Awkward Situation

Facebook has brought me and my cousins in Malaysia closer together. In a way, it's good because now I don't have to wait for someone to get married or for that special call we make when they come to mind.
But I also realized that I cannot update my status on FB especially when I travel. Not that I say where I go usually but I like to leave comments on certain things. Reason being, if they know I am in town, I have to go visit!

And I did that today. The last time I saw my cuzzys was when my brother got married - that was June last year. Since then, we've been on FB and kinda know what happens. So tonight, I spent my evening with my 3 cousins - all ladies. The elder one brought her hubby along - everything was good. Nice to catch up and all.

My cousins have always been hospitable... so much so that it puts me in a very awkward position now. Let's just say, I enjoyed the first part of the night very much.... and the second part... those days are long gone.

The Story of Ning and Nong

Ning and Nong. Our domestic helpers.
One stays with mom and one with me. Both can be blood suckers.

Nong has been with us for about 18 months now. I think she has the easiest job in the world - all she has to do is accompany mom everywhere she goes and household chores. How difficult can that be - there is only mom and my younger brother (who is turning 30 next year!). My son only goes to mom 3x per week. The rest of the week, it's just the 2 of them at home. And yet, she does not her work well. It annoys me big time when mom does the housework because she is tired of scolding Nong for not doing a great job. It makes me angry now because mom is supposed to be resting and not tire herself out since she just had her op. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother paying her full salary - I think half of the salary should go to mom. One recent incident which ticked me off completely was when mom told Nong to buy her some meat at the market. She did, except that she bought it from a Chinese stall!! She must be blind. All that frequent visits to mosques and religious classes clearly has not left any impact on her. Hubby does not usually intefere with maid matters, but this time round, she got a earful from hubby. When we left mom's place, her eyes were swollen. Padan muka.

Ning. What can I say. The decision to take another maid happened quickly. MIL needed help to look after the small one and this is for an interim period only. Once mom fully recovers, we'll go back to our usual routine. Nong is a transfer maid. I am her 3rd employer. She likes to make small talks and comments; I'm sure over time, that will stop. We just have to ignore her. We brought her home on the eve of Ramadan. At the agency, we spell out her roles very clearly. At home, I spell out her roles again and told her what my expectations are. 3 weeks into her job, I continue to remind her what her role is.

To be honest, I don't like having a maid at home - my hubby helps me with household chores. I don't like the idea of a domestic helper minding the kids and cooking. Those two roles are meant for moms or grandmas when they help. I don't have a lot of things at home - so there isn't much cleaning to do either. Plus I am anal and can be very OCD most of the times. I like things to be done my way and in precise location so little things that is not pleasing to the eye can annoy me. And those little things are accumulating.

One recent incident - the floor was sticky and she claimed she has mopped the floor. And she mops almost every other day. I told her off and while doing so, she got the cheek to tell me to "istigfar maam". Now. Let's rewind. When she first came to our place, she does not even carry a prayer mat and keludung. She wore tight short sleeved T-shirts and tight capri pants. I gave her clothes because I don't like her attire. I had to listen to her read a surah, doa iftitah, pray and make sure that she reads her niat puasa correctly. She must be blind too because for the past 3 weeks or so, she didn't see me pray in the wee hours of the morning. She must have walked with her eyes closed when she wakes up for sahur. And now she's telling me to istigfar and all I did was to tell her off. I was not even angry - only my voice was very stern. Of course she then got a earful from me... everything from a religious perspective. Don't start. When I told hubby and mom, she got another lecture from them.

Sometimes I wonder if they really think of the situation that they are in. They take a loan of 7 million rupiah but when it comes to payment, the agency deducts 7 months salary from them. That's $3.8K which is about 2 Billion rupiah. They seem nonchalant about it. Ning's easy way out is telling me to send her back to the agency. Last night, I gave her an opportunity to talk to her family members - since it's the eve of Eid. She did and since I had the phone on speaker, I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. She was asked a few times to send monies home. I wonder if that sets her thinking.

A friend said you now can do all the things that you want to do. Er no leh. Because I don't like the maid to mind my kids and cook, I still have to do all that. And I have 2 boys, when one is asleep, the other one becomes demanding and wants me to do everything with him. So, no not really.

Ramadan in a Foreign Land

This is not the first time I experience Ramadan in a foreign land. When I was a student in Australia, I remembered having to tolerate the heat (it was 40degress and dry!) and breaking fast with instant noodles. When I started working with Nick, I would be traveling to Indonesia, Malaysia, Europe during Ramadan. The toughest I would say is being in Europe. There were several years when I had to do it during MIP - the amount of walking and talking that I have to do the whole day was exhausting. Breaking fast in a middle of a meeting with just one date and cold plain water was pretty depressing. That situation has not changed till today.

I am in London this week. It's summer and the days are long. Break fast is close to 9pm and fajr is at 415am. The first night, the team had dinner together and I waited patiently until I could eat. While I keep myself busy talking to my colleagues, my boss had to announce to everyone that I am fasting. And with that I had to explain what Ramadan is all over again, why I'm fasting eventhough I can be excused. The second night, we had dinner on a roof top - at OXO Tower London. The restaurant offers a breathtaking view of the city and the river. The company was good but I wished I wasn't there. It just does not feel right after you've fasted the whole day. I had 3 slices of french toast and did not even finish my meal. It was risotto.

I can't even wake up in the morning for sahur. I did this morning though but I'm very sure I will fall asleep during our session later in the afternoon.

I miss the Ramadan atmosphere - from the prayer call, to the conversations, the songs you hear on radio, the conversations you have with your friends and family and of course the warm meals that greet you.

I don't have any cravings for any food - the only craving I have is a mug of kopi susu and the company of my family.

A Small World We Live In

This morning, I met with my late father's ex-colleague.

He was my cab driver to the airport. He initially thought I was Chinese and was pleasantly surprised I responded in Bahasa Melayu. That broke the ice and what happened after was an interesting conversation. With the bad morning traffic, there was so much I found out.

He asked me lots of questions - the usual ones; where you going? what you doing, married, kids, parents. I gave very little information and I knew he wanted more. I wouldn't have mentioned my late Dad if he had not said he was an ex police officer. Who would have thought he knew my father and could described my dad and his mannerisms so well! It's so heartwarming to know that my Dad left a good impression with his colleagues. As we continued to talk, he told me that his cousin is married to a Singaporean who is teaching at University Islam Antarabangsa. He was keen to introduce me to her and asked if I would be interested. As he described her and how she met his cousin, I knew I know who he was referring to. He was refering to my cousin(!!), who now lives in KL and returns to Singapore every year during Lebaran. We were both pleasantly surprise at the discovery and concluded that we are relatives after all!

He is a very nice man. Thoughtful, fatherly figure and gave me good advise towards work as well as life. I wish him well and I hope to meet him again one day. Believe it or not, he has my number and I have his.

Man! Man! Woman! Woman!

I was caught in KLIA immigration for 2hrs last Sunday.
Everything was crawling... as I get to the front, an immigration officer stood up and went like this:

Immigration officer: "Man! Man! Oi Man!"

He turned to his colleague: "aku panggil man tak dengar. nak aku panggil woman agoknya!"

And then he continued: "Man! Man! oi Man!" he was calling for the Arab man in line to go to his counter.

I wanted to tell him then "Oi Bang! Bukan Man or Woman! How about "oi! Next!"

No wonder it takes 2hrs for me to clear customs!