Another Invite

Last year, I got an invitation for an iftar reception by the Ambassador of the United States. I didn't go because I had to work late that night as we were rushing for some submissions.

I got the same invite again this year - 1 August. I will be in Jakarta on that day to discuss some renewals.

I really would love to go... would love to see who's who at the iftar session and of course to make contact. Perhaps next time....

Who Loves You

 Love. This week's topic.

Love 1 - Ella is married. Married at the age of 46. We read all the comments that netizens wrote about her solemnization. Agree. She is lucky to have found love.

Love 2 - A seventy-something year old man fainted when he saw his future wife. She is 53 and comes from one of the northern state in Malaysia. I think we almost fainted at laughing the headlines on Berita Harian.

Love 3 - Someone in office is smitten with LOVE! And we are teenagers all over again. The squeals of laughter, the shrieks that came from us when we heard her tell us he calls her "babe", "baby" and has a gem waiting for her... we told her to bring a parachute... and make sure she lands safely in case the guy does not meet her expectation. That love story is so surreal and I felt like I was watching a movie. It feels odd to be in the discussion - all single and I am the only married one! And it feels odd to be in this discussions when we are all in our late 30s/ early 40s. I hope this is LOVE for her.... hope she found love when she turns 50! That would be the best birthday gift ever!

Love. It makes you smile, it feels good and sometimes it makes others roll their eyes!!!

Gahmen Letters

I received two letters today from the government. One from the Ministry of Manpower and the other from LTA.

I knew I was going to get them but when I finally read the letter, I hate the feeling. Hate.Actually, feeling really lousy. MOM basically highlighted that I have changed maids for 4x already and in the event I change again, I may be required to attend an Employer Orientation programme or an interview to determine if I need any other assistance. They think I'm psycho.

The letter from LTA is basically a fine. $130  for driving on the bus lane along Upper Bukit Timah. It's one of those days when I had to manage 2 kids, we left early but there was traffic all the way to Dairy Farm Road. And I had to be in office by 9am for a meeting. I took my chances knowing that the traffic warden usually parked himself at the old Bukit Timah Fire Station. That morning, he decided that Rail Mall was a better place. Well, better place indeed for him.

Hubby suggested I go appeal but seriously why bother? I am at fault and I just have to pay that fine. I just have to remember to not do it again in future...and continue to pray that traffic does not crawl along that Bukit Timah Road... or pray that 2014 comes quick so all the construction and the roads that are always changing and meandering will go back to normal.

Driving Pet Peeves

I got my driving license right after college. That was like 20 years ago and I have been driving since then. I've met really good drivers, some bad ones and these are the ones that annoy me!

1) road hoggers - of coz!
2) those who cannot park within their parking lot
3) drivers who smoke and throw their ciggy butt out of the window - i sometimes wished I could pick it up and throw it back in the car! Burn them with it
4) road bullies who hides behind the curtain because they don't want other drivers to see who they are. To this group of drivers - you should wear a skirt!

We are 10!

We celebrate our 10th Anniversary today. And this is what hubby wrote this morning:
" Zan Mansor.... As we learn, let us share. As we take, let us give. As we weep, let us care. As we love, let us live.

The love that you shared years ago Is still as strong today at it was. First came Noor Adli then Noor Irfan > bringing much joy, love and happiness to celebrate as a family.

Happy 10th Anniversary !!"

To mark our 10 years together, we got these watches for ourselves....solid, reliable, special, treasured and lasts forever. InsyaAllah, so will this marriage. Amin.



11pm Monsters

I told Abang last evening that I had to work late. We will be staying over at my mom since hubby is away and it would be a challenge for me to go home with 2 sleepy/ sleeping kids.

Abang agreed of course and this is what he said:
Abang: "Yeah Mama, we cannot go home at 11pm because later the monsters will come out."

Me: "who told you that?"

Abang: I saw on TV.

hahahaha

She starts today

I fetched my new maid on Sunday. Dasti left on the same day - she was very concerned with the loan that she has to pay. Who cares right? Not that we have not warned her.

So my new maid shares the same surname as me - she is not from Java island she comes from Nusantara Tenggara Barat. According to her, her grandparents came from Arab hence the reason why she has a Malay name. Hmmmm.... She is an experienced maid, having worked in Saudi for 7 years. She has made a lot of money - she bought padi fields (3 she said!) and has built a house.Reason for coming to Singapore is to make more money because she wants to run a business when she goes back home. I have to admit, I was pretty impressed with what she has done and her vision.

Mom has not seen her. I brought her home last evening - I don't usually do that but I thought I'll take a slightly different approach to this new maid. She seems sharp and has a strong personality. I'll pray that all goes well when she helps mom.

Mom was curious and called last evening to find out about her. Heheh... I know she is tired and wants company but mom will never admit that.

I Googled You

It's weird when someone you have never met, but talk on the phone for conference calls tells you he googled you. Yes, we all do it. Who doesn't, right? We are always curious to know something or want to know someone so we googled that person. But we will never declare that.

So today, I met S - a Korean whom I have been on calls with to talk about a particular project that we have both been roped in. He was so excited when we met, eager to tell me about himself and what his plans are and he was also very bullish with his plans.

I was of course taken aback when he told me he googled and read every single interviews that I have done for the trade.

Me and My Never Ending Maid Stories

No surprise. I am changing my maid again.

The current one is mom's choice and she made mom so angry, mom's BP went up to 166! No kidding.

I came home from a business trip and got a earful of mom's frustrations. Last Sat, we shortlisted one and this Thursday we are interviewing.

Today, the new rule kicks in. I wonder what is real basis for the increase in salary when most of these maids can hardly work. Previously, all they did was to learn for the entry test. I was informed that they spend Mon-Fri learning and memorising English words. On weekends, they are trained to do housework. I don't think that has changed. Experienced maids - there are more risks - and I'd rather avoid getting one experienced one.

I would go without a maid for mom if I could. Mom needs help with the lil one and at home with housework... though mom says otherwise. She also needs the company especially on nights when she is alone at home.

Luck plays an important role and all I can do is pray that my next maid is a good one. It's my fourth change... I'm pretty sure MOM will call me in for that interview!

Finally. He said it.

He finally said it. Yes. Abang told me on Monday to not travel for work.

I had just gotten back from Berlin on Sat evening and had to leave again for Bali on Tuesday. The limited time I had with him on Sunday was spent at the massage parlour because mommy's back was aching so much that she could hardly move. So on Monday as we were driving home and I told him of my trip, he asked why do I have to travel again so soon and said "please don't go". I hate the feeling.

Just before I boarded the plane, he called to say he loved me and asked if I could get him a toy. I don't make a habit of buying toys or gifts for every single trip. I will make an exception this time round. I hope there are some decent shops at the airport.

Super Neat

My job has taken me to many countries and I stay in the best hotels. This week I am in Berlin and we stay in Hotel De Rome. This lavish hotel building was previously a central bank in East Berlin.

My blog is not about the hotel but about the service that I received during my stay. I have never experienced excellent services in Europe and this is my first.

The staff are so friendly, efficient and accommodating. The waiters are attentive and the minute you move away from your table to take more food, etc, someone would come immediately to either remove your plate or fold your napkin. Like lightning - have they been hiding under the table or something?!

I am a very neat person and I like to keep my things in order. You cannot imagine how amused I am when I walked into my room this evening to find my shoes all lined up in order, the toiletries are arranged neatly and everything was in perfect order!! It was so perfect that I had to look for my pair of socks! I found it folded in neatly in the drawer! Oh my gosh, I burst out laughing when I found it!

A Year Older and Wiser :-)

I am 38 years old today.

The plan was to spend the entire day with the kids and hubby but the plan got canned. Last year, we were in Penang chilling out. This year, I was stressing out over a presentation. At 5am, I was going through the deck!

The delegates came in - 13 men Chinese and Korean - all in suits. Very distinguised looking and so much older! My feet and hands were cold - from being nervous and since I had to present right after my boss, that makes it even worst.

I did it and all went well. I've learnt a lot in Day 1 , Day 2 is tomorrow and one of the funny moment from today was:

On Screen - screen grab of an app store selling a game called: iPee: Urinal Game.

Someone said - I think I want to buy this game
Someone responded - it's not for women, it's for men.

keh keh keh.

I have to say that my team had a tough time figuring out when to bring out the b'day surprise for me. I seriously thought the days of celebrating b'days in office is so over but hey, someone decided to organize it anyway. The surprise came at 6 and together with that surprise, i saw two little boys joining the celebration - my kids! Mommy firstly was harrassed because the team was happily singing, with bells and whistle in the b/g, the delegate of 13 men were touring the office and then mommy had to carry her boys! Alamak.

The 10 Things to Remember

This list has been with me for some time now. It's pasted on my cubicle - it has come with me from the office in Atrium - Tower B to Tower A to the short stint in Outram and now to New Tech Park.

A male Malay colleague once saw it on my desk and asked me why do I place such things on my cubicle - the answer is simple - it's a reminder. I work in an environment where I could choose a live a lifestyle that will give me happiness in the world today/ now and may not necessarily be so in the life after. Parties, alcohol, music, rock & roll, liberal lifestyle, dining in the best restaurants in Asia and the world - meeting all sorts of people, decision makers, entertainers, company leaders, you name it. It is so easy to just go with the flow and be "in".

I am thankful I continue to be steadfast in my faith and practices, I continue to have patience as I explain and educate again to my non Muslim colleagues, friends, acquaintances what some of my beliefs are. InsyaAllah, this will continue through.

Own Business vs Corporate World

A girlfriend gave me a business proposal recently. It was not a surprise... she has hinted it so many times before and passed me several articles to read. I am very diligent and have read them all.

While I like the proposal, I am very hesitant to participate for several reasons.

Firstly, I like the corporate world. I cannot imagine running my own business or going into a business with a friend - what more a good friend. I am so scared that if things go wrong, I may end up not having the friendship. I get a lot of satisfcation in the corporate world, the rat race, the competition, the meetings, everything.

Secondly, my girlfriend and I have very strong personalities and I know if we were to work together, we will end up "killing" each other eventually! I don't think two strong personality people should run a business together. You need a business partner to complement your personality. I don't fall into that category.

And finally, how can one live on savings until the business is finally bringing in profit? Seriously. That's too risky.

There are instances when I feel that I have had enough of the media industry and I want to leave.... and if I ever do that, I would consider a career in the preschool sector - not as a techer though.

Business Travels

For business trip, I like to travel on my own. I like being on my own; the time is mine to manage and I don't have to accommodate to any requests.
Alternatively, I prefer to travel with a male colleague - because they tend to leave you when you get to the hotel.

You may be wondering why I'm entering such a post now - since I have been doing this for years already. I am somewhat irritable. Firstly, this is such a last minute trip that I was asked to go and manage, so I am still annoyed with that fact, secondly I have to deal with a colleague who calls me "Jan" and I have corrected the person before. I hate it when people cannot pronounce my name right. Yes, my name may be difficult to pronounce but hey, c'mon. There are 5 of us here in Manila this week. Naturally, we are all at the same hotel and while we have our own meetings to run and go to, we usually meet back at the hotel. And this is when my irritation begins. I need my space, I enjoy the idea of being on my own doing my own thing. So when I want to go for a massage or a spa or a run, I want to be doing that at my own time, by myself. I don't want to wait. I don't want to chat. If it's a company retreat or some bonding session that the company wants us to do, i'll do it, I have seen my colleagues in their worst state - drunk, at the gym looking flushed, naked, butt cracks, you name it, but that does not mean I want them to see me in my robe at the spa or my calves ( i don't wear anything short!).

And right now I want to work as I have a lot to submit in the next few days, I don't want a night cap and I don't want another session of spa.

Goodbye, Nong

Nong, aka Revi (mom calls her Ravi) my domestic helper went home two weeks ago. Her contract with us ended and she is now on a journey to finish her studies. That was her goal, to save as much money as possible so she could pay for her school fees.

I took a new helper for my mom, Tarkunah and mom insists on calling her "Taqwa". Mom had her reasons unfortunately, Taqwa journey with us ended last Friday. Mom said she is too short- you cannot have 2 short ladies in the house can you? and here I was thinking of getting another set of ladder for mom's place! and another reason for sending her back is because mom does not like her face. She hardly smiles and that's a problem. Even my youngest son does not want to play with her!

I've been interviewing and screening so many candidates at the agency, that by the time I selected my final helper, I cannot even remember her name and her background! One candidate's name is Jaya Indah. I told her it sounds like a big gedung in Banjarmasin! I was kidding of coz!

So, the new replacement came last Sunday. Dasti is her name. She reminds me of my childhood friend from Penang. The good news is, she is much taller, slightly gendut, is generous with her smile and most importantly, mom looks happier with Dasti.

Hope the ride ahead is smooth. I don't want to go through the same episode of hiring and listening to mom's woes. It's never easy when a new helper comes on board.

Wheelchair!

We were in Hong Kong for a short holiday.
Adik was asleep in his pram. Abang was tired from walking. He asked Abah to carry him.

Abah: Abang, you are getting very heavy and my back aches when I carry you. When Abah and Mama are older and if we cannot walk, will you carry us?

Abang did not respond immediately. He was thinking and then he said..

Abang: No. I'll put you on a wheel chair and I will push you.

Abah immediately put him down and told him to walk!

2011 - A Roller Coaster Ride

It's hard to believe the year is almost over. As I look back at 2011, I must admit it's a year that is filled with lots of love, challenges and 180 degrees turn!

And all those challenges that I went through is a test of my patience and I must admit some times I am amazed at how much patience I have over some people and matters. I will always remember what my late father said to me and insyaAllah, I will see it through.

I've never felt so tired and often I catch myself asking whether all the stress and pressures are worth it. This week, the answer would be yes- especially when you see the big fat bonus that sits in the bank account! Alhamdullilah.

Working hard is a given but this year, I feel that I have worked extremely hard. I don't think 2012 will be an easy year either but I do know that whatever I went through this year is to prepare me for whatever else that is coming my way.

I will remember a few things that happened this year.

One -I've been told more than once by my boss that I should never worry or be very concerned with what people think of me. If I have to be mean or a bitch to get to where I want, I will have to do just that. I did not agree with that because that's not who I am. Everyone deals with situations differently and I prefer doing it my way. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why certain things stay as it is.

Two - I was asked by a male colleague what's the formula to survive in this company. Dude, pray. But I did not say that. At that moment, I wished I did not know his future and I reminded myself to stay far far away from office politics. It brings one unhappiness.

Three - Have you heard of narcissistic personality disorder? Imagine having to manage a person with one. I'm still managing that and it is a tiring process.

Four - I have also learned to take time to understand my colleague, "OG" better - something that I rarely do to someone who constantly pissed me off at work. I've gone for coffee, lunches and work trips with him and I realize that he is a nice person. As I get to know him more, I begin to understand why he does things the way he does. I've also learnt to draw boundaries and if I'm tasked to do beyond that boundary, I make sure the people who ought to know, knows.

Five - I recently went to a women networking breakfast session. The session looked at how women climbed the career ladders and what one has to do to get to the top. The answers vary - learn to play golf someone said, learn a sport, don't let your gender come in the way.... etc etc. Yes, perhaps all of that is important. However, I came out of the session and felt that it was a complete waste of time. Seriously, there is a reason why God creates men and women. There has to be a balance in how things work. Male bosses are not emotional, straight forward and they make better bosses some say. But women bosses are good at multi tasking and has soft skills and are able to reach out to everyone whether they realize it or not. That to me should be your one of your strengths to get you to the top. In any organizations, you cannot have an all women or all men in the management team. That is a recipe to disaster.

And speaking of climbing the career ladder, I must admit that it is TOUGH to manage 2 kids and career! While I have a very strong support system, I find that I am always planning ahead and my mind is always thinking. Perhaps that's why I feel so tired. I am conscious of what I go through and I know what I have to do to slow down, take a step back and breathe. And yet, I am going against all that. SELFISH. That's how I describe the situation that I am in. I am selfish and I want it all. For how much longer???

Ning No More

I have to thank my mom for making me act on a decision I made about eight to ten weeks ago.

When she called and told me she did not want to see Ning in her house, the very next day I sent Ning back to the agency. The intent of doing so was already there… it’s just that I have been procrastinating. Why I really don’t know.

I’m glad I did because I began to realize recently that situation at home is a lot better. When Ning was around, my hubby and I were really short tempered and were easily annoyed…perhaps because we had to control our anger at Ning and we ended up venting at each other. Also, it feels so peaceful and calm as we step into the house in the evening and when I wake up really early in the morning to do whatever I have to do.

Bliss.

My Fellow Orange Team

These are the people that I hang around with 4-6 times in a year, in various places and countries. And we talk on a weekly basis. The experience between them is vast and varied and each time when I meet them, I feel so rejuvenated.

They’ve motivated and have thought me in many ways in my career and I am truly appreciative of the opportunity.

We are colleagues and some I definitely can call friends. The group used to be so much bigger but with changes in the organizational structure and promotions, this is the current group of programmers for the brand I work for. We make decisions together and agree on decisions. One of the requirements for this role is to be able to convince everyone that the decision to take on a program will bring in desired results to the company. Stressful initially but you learn along the way – the spectrum of things to look at is wide!

This shot was taken when we took the London eye. Other than having to work together, whenever we travel to a foreign city, we make time to explore this city. This was one of the evenings when we explored London city – the tallest guy being our head was also the leader in that small tour group. He is the tallest, how could anyone miss him?!

Our meeting venue changes all the time. As long as there is an office in that particular cluster, we can hold our meeting. I am on a mission to get them to Singapore. It’d be a good experience for everyone – to experience the culture and understand what we go through. On a selfish note, it takes me 2 to 3 days to recuperate from long haul trips! I want them to experience that too :)