The Story of Ning and Nong

Ning and Nong. Our domestic helpers.
One stays with mom and one with me. Both can be blood suckers.

Nong has been with us for about 18 months now. I think she has the easiest job in the world - all she has to do is accompany mom everywhere she goes and household chores. How difficult can that be - there is only mom and my younger brother (who is turning 30 next year!). My son only goes to mom 3x per week. The rest of the week, it's just the 2 of them at home. And yet, she does not her work well. It annoys me big time when mom does the housework because she is tired of scolding Nong for not doing a great job. It makes me angry now because mom is supposed to be resting and not tire herself out since she just had her op. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother paying her full salary - I think half of the salary should go to mom. One recent incident which ticked me off completely was when mom told Nong to buy her some meat at the market. She did, except that she bought it from a Chinese stall!! She must be blind. All that frequent visits to mosques and religious classes clearly has not left any impact on her. Hubby does not usually intefere with maid matters, but this time round, she got a earful from hubby. When we left mom's place, her eyes were swollen. Padan muka.

Ning. What can I say. The decision to take another maid happened quickly. MIL needed help to look after the small one and this is for an interim period only. Once mom fully recovers, we'll go back to our usual routine. Nong is a transfer maid. I am her 3rd employer. She likes to make small talks and comments; I'm sure over time, that will stop. We just have to ignore her. We brought her home on the eve of Ramadan. At the agency, we spell out her roles very clearly. At home, I spell out her roles again and told her what my expectations are. 3 weeks into her job, I continue to remind her what her role is.

To be honest, I don't like having a maid at home - my hubby helps me with household chores. I don't like the idea of a domestic helper minding the kids and cooking. Those two roles are meant for moms or grandmas when they help. I don't have a lot of things at home - so there isn't much cleaning to do either. Plus I am anal and can be very OCD most of the times. I like things to be done my way and in precise location so little things that is not pleasing to the eye can annoy me. And those little things are accumulating.

One recent incident - the floor was sticky and she claimed she has mopped the floor. And she mops almost every other day. I told her off and while doing so, she got the cheek to tell me to "istigfar maam". Now. Let's rewind. When she first came to our place, she does not even carry a prayer mat and keludung. She wore tight short sleeved T-shirts and tight capri pants. I gave her clothes because I don't like her attire. I had to listen to her read a surah, doa iftitah, pray and make sure that she reads her niat puasa correctly. She must be blind too because for the past 3 weeks or so, she didn't see me pray in the wee hours of the morning. She must have walked with her eyes closed when she wakes up for sahur. And now she's telling me to istigfar and all I did was to tell her off. I was not even angry - only my voice was very stern. Of course she then got a earful from me... everything from a religious perspective. Don't start. When I told hubby and mom, she got another lecture from them.

Sometimes I wonder if they really think of the situation that they are in. They take a loan of 7 million rupiah but when it comes to payment, the agency deducts 7 months salary from them. That's $3.8K which is about 2 Billion rupiah. They seem nonchalant about it. Ning's easy way out is telling me to send her back to the agency. Last night, I gave her an opportunity to talk to her family members - since it's the eve of Eid. She did and since I had the phone on speaker, I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. She was asked a few times to send monies home. I wonder if that sets her thinking.

A friend said you now can do all the things that you want to do. Er no leh. Because I don't like the maid to mind my kids and cook, I still have to do all that. And I have 2 boys, when one is asleep, the other one becomes demanding and wants me to do everything with him. So, no not really.

Ramadan in a Foreign Land

This is not the first time I experience Ramadan in a foreign land. When I was a student in Australia, I remembered having to tolerate the heat (it was 40degress and dry!) and breaking fast with instant noodles. When I started working with Nick, I would be traveling to Indonesia, Malaysia, Europe during Ramadan. The toughest I would say is being in Europe. There were several years when I had to do it during MIP - the amount of walking and talking that I have to do the whole day was exhausting. Breaking fast in a middle of a meeting with just one date and cold plain water was pretty depressing. That situation has not changed till today.

I am in London this week. It's summer and the days are long. Break fast is close to 9pm and fajr is at 415am. The first night, the team had dinner together and I waited patiently until I could eat. While I keep myself busy talking to my colleagues, my boss had to announce to everyone that I am fasting. And with that I had to explain what Ramadan is all over again, why I'm fasting eventhough I can be excused. The second night, we had dinner on a roof top - at OXO Tower London. The restaurant offers a breathtaking view of the city and the river. The company was good but I wished I wasn't there. It just does not feel right after you've fasted the whole day. I had 3 slices of french toast and did not even finish my meal. It was risotto.

I can't even wake up in the morning for sahur. I did this morning though but I'm very sure I will fall asleep during our session later in the afternoon.

I miss the Ramadan atmosphere - from the prayer call, to the conversations, the songs you hear on radio, the conversations you have with your friends and family and of course the warm meals that greet you.

I don't have any cravings for any food - the only craving I have is a mug of kopi susu and the company of my family.

A Small World We Live In

This morning, I met with my late father's ex-colleague.

He was my cab driver to the airport. He initially thought I was Chinese and was pleasantly surprised I responded in Bahasa Melayu. That broke the ice and what happened after was an interesting conversation. With the bad morning traffic, there was so much I found out.

He asked me lots of questions - the usual ones; where you going? what you doing, married, kids, parents. I gave very little information and I knew he wanted more. I wouldn't have mentioned my late Dad if he had not said he was an ex police officer. Who would have thought he knew my father and could described my dad and his mannerisms so well! It's so heartwarming to know that my Dad left a good impression with his colleagues. As we continued to talk, he told me that his cousin is married to a Singaporean who is teaching at University Islam Antarabangsa. He was keen to introduce me to her and asked if I would be interested. As he described her and how she met his cousin, I knew I know who he was referring to. He was refering to my cousin(!!), who now lives in KL and returns to Singapore every year during Lebaran. We were both pleasantly surprise at the discovery and concluded that we are relatives after all!

He is a very nice man. Thoughtful, fatherly figure and gave me good advise towards work as well as life. I wish him well and I hope to meet him again one day. Believe it or not, he has my number and I have his.