It's hard to believe the year is almost over. As I look back at 2011, I must admit it's a year that is filled with lots of love, challenges and 180 degrees turn!
And all those challenges that I went through is a test of my patience and I must admit some times I am amazed at how much patience I have over some people and matters. I will always remember what my late father said to me and insyaAllah, I will see it through.
I've never felt so tired and often I catch myself asking whether all the stress and pressures are worth it. This week, the answer would be yes- especially when you see the big fat bonus that sits in the bank account! Alhamdullilah.
Working hard is a given but this year, I feel that I have worked extremely hard. I don't think 2012 will be an easy year either but I do know that whatever I went through this year is to prepare me for whatever else that is coming my way.
I will remember a few things that happened this year.
One -I've been told more than once by my boss that I should never worry or be very concerned with what people think of me. If I have to be mean or a bitch to get to where I want, I will have to do just that. I did not agree with that because that's not who I am. Everyone deals with situations differently and I prefer doing it my way. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why certain things stay as it is.
Two - I was asked by a male colleague what's the formula to survive in this company. Dude, pray. But I did not say that. At that moment, I wished I did not know his future and I reminded myself to stay far far away from office politics. It brings one unhappiness.
Three - Have you heard of narcissistic personality disorder? Imagine having to manage a person with one. I'm still managing that and it is a tiring process.
Four - I have also learned to take time to understand my colleague, "OG" better - something that I rarely do to someone who constantly pissed me off at work. I've gone for coffee, lunches and work trips with him and I realize that he is a nice person. As I get to know him more, I begin to understand why he does things the way he does. I've also learnt to draw boundaries and if I'm tasked to do beyond that boundary, I make sure the people who ought to know, knows.
Five - I recently went to a women networking breakfast session. The session looked at how women climbed the career ladders and what one has to do to get to the top. The answers vary - learn to play golf someone said, learn a sport, don't let your gender come in the way.... etc etc. Yes, perhaps all of that is important. However, I came out of the session and felt that it was a complete waste of time. Seriously, there is a reason why God creates men and women. There has to be a balance in how things work. Male bosses are not emotional, straight forward and they make better bosses some say. But women bosses are good at multi tasking and has soft skills and are able to reach out to everyone whether they realize it or not. That to me should be your one of your strengths to get you to the top. In any organizations, you cannot have an all women or all men in the management team. That is a recipe to disaster.
And speaking of climbing the career ladder, I must admit that it is TOUGH to manage 2 kids and career! While I have a very strong support system, I find that I am always planning ahead and my mind is always thinking. Perhaps that's why I feel so tired. I am conscious of what I go through and I know what I have to do to slow down, take a step back and breathe. And yet, I am going against all that. SELFISH. That's how I describe the situation that I am in. I am selfish and I want it all. For how much longer???
